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Joke of the Day

"I was thinking about where Luke Skywalker goes to buy his change of clothes while talking to my girlfriend. Me: I wonder where Luke Skywalker buys his clothes. Her: The Darth Maul. ;) I love my life."

"If you had $1 for every time you've masturbated What color would your Bugatti be?"

"Want to hear a joke about digging? Never mind actually. It's boring."

"I wanted to dress as Glenn Beck for Halloween, but I couldn't find enough ignorance and hate."

"I had an Ethiopian blend of coffee this morning... It didn't taste very rich."

"I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu."

"I used to work at Human Relations in the coal industry, but I got tired of all the miner details."

"I wrote a theatrical performance on puns Really, it was just a play on words."

"""If you don't have anything nice to say, say as much as you can."" - the internet"

"I stopped at the bookstore to pick up the book I ordered on how to get through life with an extremely small penis. It isn't in yet."