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Joke of the Day

"I want to be elected president, learn the truth about aliens, and then resign."

"Why can't the bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two-tired"

"HR: Do you want your name on the October birthday list? Me: Nope. HR: Why not? Me: Because I'm not in Kindergarten."

"What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? Dam!!"

"Love means never having to say you're sorry until you've thought up a good excuse."

"What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A Brunette with bad breath."

"A 4 year old boy examined his testicles... while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet', she replied"

"Why did the console player cross the road? Because fuck you for clicking on this just to tell me how much of a shitty repost this is!"

"Hey, ladies, if you look like a snake swallowed a rib cage you're too skinny."

"Dear Gingers, It could be worse. Sincerely, Albinos"