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Joke of the Day

"Every day, for the last two years, I've been putting something aside for a rainy day... ... But what am I going to do with 500 umbrellas and 200 pairs of wellies?"

"They say that when you put your ear next to a vagina... You can actually *smell* the ocean!"

"What did the ill kitty say to the playful puppy? ""Not right meow, I have a headache."""

"There were two muffins in an oven... One muffin said to the other, ""Boy, it's sure hot in here!"" The other muffin screamed ""AHHHH!!! A talking muffin!!!!!!!"""

"My friend just found out that he is both gay and dyslexic. He is still in Daniel."

"Thinking of getting my hair did and maybe also work on my grammar."

"What doesn't kill you......seriously disappoints me!"

"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Well, will you look at that, it's a tie!"

"""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Probably photos, reflective surfaces, things of that nature."

"I hate making spelling mistakes. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined."