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Joke of the Day
"What time does Sean Connery arrive at the Wimbledon? Tennish."
Next Joke
"I ask that my remains me kept in an urn... ...and whoever keeps the urn squirts some lotion in there periodically because you guys know I can't stand being ashy."
"Today was boring, I hung around in my underwear all day... got kicked out of quite a few businesses though."
"So Hitler writes a porno... It's title: *Mein Kampfidential*"
"""zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real"" - me, walking my dog at night"
"What is about 6 in long, has a head, girls love to blow it, and is in a guys pants? a dollar bill you dirty minded people!! LMFAO"
"What's the worst feeling when getting your prostate examined? Both of the doctor's hands on your shoulders."
"It's 2016, I don't need to set my clocks back manually I just have my Negro James do it for me."
"What do anniversaries, toilets and the clitoris have in common? According to women, men usually miss all three."
"Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper? He had his own frog-horn."