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Joke of the Day

"I fcuking love it when my girlfriend uses her evil psychotic skills for my benefit and not against me."

"Why is childbirth called ""delivery"" and not ""take out?"""

"How do you call a puzzled amputee? Stumped."

"Dad please dont mess my hair up and say love ya' in public, I'm in a gang now"

"Did you hear about the Irishman that was attacked by a carpenter? I heard he was hammered"

"They should just report when there WASN'T a shooting in Florida at this point"

"Why did the yoga pants come in last place? They were bringing up the rear."

"Why can't pedophiles eat butter? It will raise their molesterol."

"The wife told me to go out and get some of those pills that will help me get an erection. You should have seen her face when I came back and gave her some diet pills."

"How do we get rid of Ebola? Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane"