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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who's left arm and leg got cut off? He has **crippling** depression"

"What happens at night in Bangladesh? It gets Dhaka"

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time-consuming."

"I give it 6 months before Banksy does a graffiti of the statue of liberty with the snapchat dogface filter on it"

"When I order a burrito with a coffee in my hand, I imagine the cashier is thinking ""Wow, this guy must really love to shit!"""

"I have too much stuff in my closet, so no one can be certain Tom Cruise isn't hanging out in there, too."

"If I ask my mom to take a picture for me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling ""IT'S THE BUTTON ON FRONT!"""

"What do you call the killing of Chinese baby girls? Youth-in-Asia"

"Mom: I HEARD UR SICK Me: just a cold Mom: U HAVE THE ZIKA M: no I- Mom: OH GOD IT'S ZIKA M: mom- Mom: I TRIED TO RAISE U RIGHT M: wait, what"

"One i made up for my mexican friends. If a Rabbi blesses food it's kosher. What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest? A: HOLY MOLE' Thank you, I'll be in r/dadjokes all week!"