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Joke of the Day

"q: what's green and yellow and hangs from trees? a: gorilla snot."

"My tombstone will just say ""Deactivated."" I want people to be afraid that I could come back."

"What does an excited Japanese horse say? Oshio des neighhhhh"

"Underage girl, sucking on daddy's cock, gets jizzed on all over he......... Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a google image search."

"Co-worker: My husband & I are praying for a baby. Me: You know that's not how you get 1, right? You gotta have sex. What does HR want now?"

"What did the blindman say when he walked by the fish market? Helllllllloooooo (insert your mother's/wife's/sister's/grandmother's name here.)"

"My friend asked if I knew what kind of sweater he was wearing. I said I had no idea, he said ""Guess."" ""Hollister?"" ""No. Guess."" ""North face?"" ""No... Guess"" I sill don't know."

"[packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen"

"I heard that if you give Obama a prostrate massage The world will be at your finger tips."

"What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table. [Thanks, Wagon Train camper!]"