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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't Princess Leia get any dates? She was looking for Alderaan men."

"I heard there was a bombing in Times Square. But it was just Mariah."

"Cherry tree How do you hide a elephant in a cherry tree? Paint it's balls red. Howed Tarzan die? Picking cherries."

"Last night I had an orgy on a camping trip. It was fucking in tents!"

"What's the difference between my daughter and my wife? I need viagra to maintain erection with my wife."

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? Because it's two tired. Edit: added ""because""."

"Modern art is easy to understand. If you take a dump on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run away - it's an installation. If you ring the bell and then take a dump - it's a performance."

"What's the difference between a surgeon and God? God knows he's not a surgeon."

"Guy walks into an amusement park ... and sees a big sign that reads, ""Three balls 25"" So he walks up to the lady behind the counter, pulls down his pants and says, ""Ok, gimme a quarter."""

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."