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Joke of the Day

"Got in our old Mark 1 Golf today... ... My dad grabs shifts into reverse and says....""Aah, this takes me back"""

"With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed."

"Why did the scarecrow receive an award? ...because he was out standing in his field."

"This day needs cyanide."

"I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's ""The Final Countdown"" during the last 30 seconds."

"thesaurus had the greatest vocabulary of all the dinosaurs"

"How do you kill a book? You break its spine."

"What's better than winning the wheel chair basketball championship? Having legs..."

"Try saying ""I heaven this order"" three times. Nothing wrong if you do :)"

"Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook? Because he only had followers. Not friends."