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Joke of the Day

"What did the body builder say when he saw he was out of protein powder? No whey!"

"There's a faggot in the trunk of my car. There were too many sticks in my front yard, so I'm dumping them in the woods."

"Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses? Because he Ramparts the red sea each month"

"I'm so attractive Whenever I enter a room, the lights get turned on"

"Two chemists went into a bar The first one said to the bartender, I want H2O, the second one said I want H2O too. The second one died"

"Best joke you came up with yourself? A lot of people think that Saudi Arabians are uninformed. What do you expect? They live under Iraq (a rock)."

"[Gets arrested] Officer: You get one phone call... *hangs up a few minutes later. Can you turn the radio up? I requested a song."

"CHINA: how can we fix our economic problems??? GERMANY: how do we reestablish our engineering reputation??? USA: OH MY GOD RAT WITH A PIZZA"

"I'm glad twitter is new because nobody needs to see Michelangelo rt'ing every time someone mentions how majestic the Sistine Chapel is."

"When I was 8 years old.. My dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie. I miss Snowballs, she was such a good cat."