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Joke of the Day

"""911? Help, my house is burning down!"" ""Sir, we're sending the fire brigade right now."" ""I HAVE ENOUGH FIRE I DON'T NEED A BRIGADE OF IT."""

"How many Jews does it take to change Hitler's mind? None, there has to be no Jews."

"Long arm of the law Will have different meaning when Trump becomes president"

"Two Goldfish are in a Tank One turns to the other and says.. ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What's the difference between a customer and a weatherman? One knows he's not always right."

"So when a cat pounces on a stranger's lap and demands tickles it's ""cute"" but when I do it I'm ""causing trouble in Starbucks"" again. Jeez!"

"a toast to wives...girlfriends and lovers... may they never meet..."

"what did the sign outside the rehab center say? ""Keep off the grass"""

"To make a long story short, just walk away once you're bored."

"I think my blind girlfriend just broke up with me She said she wanted to see other people."