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Joke of the Day

"Jesus: I have to die because of sin God: Yes Jesus: Which you created as punishment God: Yes Jesus: For eating an apple God: Yes Jesus: No"

"My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That's the last time we're playing Monopoly."

"TV repair man..."

"How come there are no Jared Fogle jokes on reddit? No I mean it im just asking,"

"Cool puppy. What's his name? ""Patches"" Aww, that's a cute name. Because he has those spots? ""Nah...it's cause he's trying to quit smoking"""

"My parents used to tell me this one. Where did the general keep his armies? Up his sleevies."

"Every time I see the headline 'tragedy on film set' I think oh god m knight shymalan is making another goddamn movie"

"Why did the little boy use his inhaler? ""No wheezin'"""

"[to astronaut brother] Ooooh la la Gary's going to SPACE *does jerkoff motion* I'll be here on EARTH where my pizza & tv won't FLOAT AWAY"

"What do you call someone who has sex for spaghetti? A pastatute."