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Joke of the Day

"Cool puppy. What's his name? ""Patches"" Aww, that's a cute name. Because he has those spots? ""Nah...it's cause he's trying to quit smoking"""

"Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant? Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'"

"How do you greet a three-headed monster? Hi, hi, hi."

"It seems like every kid wants to be Spider-man or Batman now-a-days. They must have terrible parents if they all want to be orphans."

"It's common knowledge talking shit will result in dental work."

"I don't remember all of last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome!"

"BREAKING: FBI discovers that Hillary's 30,000 deleted emails were all Facebook notifications from Biden tagging her on cat videos."

"Want to know how to annoy someone who has OCD?"

"I used to steal other people's jokes. I still do, but I used to, too"

"""How do fast food restaurants make so much money?"" [OC] ""They flip burgers for profit!"" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!"