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Joke of the Day

"Mr. Schneider stood up in court. ""As God is my judge I do not owe my ex-wife any money."" Glaring down at him the judge replied ""He's not. I am. You do."""

"What do you get when you cross a Star Wars ship with math? A Pi fighter"

"Why have all the immigrants left? They had no rights."

"Want to hear a joke about ghosts? That's the spirit!"

"I like my women like I like my smartphones Slender and Korean"

"What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks? A conductor."

"I hated Sex Ed at school. Or 'Sexy Edward', to give him his full name."

"""My date was cute but he couldnt perform in the bedroom."" *cuts to me in bedroom butchering Wonderwall on guitar* i swear this never happens"

"Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other 'I don't like your friend.' The other one replied 'Well put her to one side and just eat the greens.'"

"Any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just need to stab it enough times."