75859

Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a hardware store and says, ""I want to buy a hinge."" The clerk says, ""Do you wanna screw for that hinge?"" The woman replies, ""No thanks, but I'll blow you for a toaster."""

"So i went to the zoo the other day, but there was only 1 animal there. It was a Shih Tzu"

"Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana? It was the pot calling the cattle back."

"Car insurance companies got it right Don't date women under 25!"

"A joke I tried to make about the difference between British and American government. (Bad language) One of our politicians fucked a pig's head All of your politicians are pig headed fuckers"

"Q: What do sneezes wear on their feet? A: Ahhh-shoes."

"What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot? An oompa loompa with a sore throat."

"I saw a sign that said, watch for children. I thought to myself... Thats a fair trade. - Demetri Martin."

"Why did the nun get a free hot dog at the fair? Because she spontaneously performed fellatio on the hot dog salesman. This made him feel charitable."

"What is a gay man's favorite vacation site? He loves to go to Bankok."