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Joke of the Day

"That annoying moment when you're waiting for a text & you get one but it's from the wrong person."

"A mosquito goes to a military base. The commanding officer says, ""Sorry, this is a 'no fly' zone."""

"Cancer research scientists have grown human vocal cords in a Petri dish. The results speak for themselves.."

"I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them. Let's all be thankful I'm not a surgeon."

"I like my women like I like my golf score Mid eighties and with slight handicap."

"cop joke He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"I don't think I'll ever get married... Instead, I'll find a woman I don't like and buy her a house."

"How do the Sith ascend? Elevaders"

"Hey Russell Wilson! You wanna win another Super Bowl?! Nah, I'll pass."

"Did you know two melons of the same sex can't marry? Does that mean they cantaloupe? *Thanks to My Drunk Kitchen!"