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Joke of the Day

"I've reached the point in my life where I'm ready for a life partner. But I'd probably be just as content with a cheeseburger."

"Thinking ab including nude photos of me in my Tinder profile to weed out women who vomit easily"

"I saw a Sword-Swallowing act on TV and it said 'Don't try this at home'. So I went to the park and tried it. Still fucking hurt myself."

"One venti cheeseburger please."

"A man walks into the bedroom holding a sheep, And says, I just wanted to show you the pig I was fucking. His wife says that's not a pig, and he responds I know I was talking to the sheep."

"This guy gave me a free copy of his book today. An actual printed copy! I had no idea they were still doing this kind of thing. It's fancy."

"How To Tell A Girl Is Mad: 1. She tells you she's mad 2. She tells you she's not mad 3. She sets your stuff on fire 4. She sets you on fire"

"A Reddit mod deleting their account during controversy and creating a new one is like... the Reddit CEO"

"What's the difference between a blowjob and anal sex? One makes your day and the other makes your hole weak."

"How do you make stupid people click links? ..."