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Joke of the Day

"Missed Connection: You were attractive. I awkwardly overreacted to your presence."

"A movie called Jurrasick Park where there's no dinosaur activity because they're now sick for some reason."

"My wife said she had a doctor's appointment at 2:30. I asked her if she was sure it wasn't a dentist's appointment."

"I once lost my thesaurus... and I couldn't find the words to describe how upset I was."

"If your mom could communicate with the dead she would be an extra large."

"Sex is like fishing... You gotta know how to handle the rod!"

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A tomato."

"My wife was captured by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to her."

"The difference between an alcoholic and a drunk is staggering."

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says ""Hey did you see Donald Trump talking about his dick on tv last night? Can you believe that fucking guy might be president?"""