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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench? ~~A park bench can support a a family~~ One you sit on and the other is a park bench."

"Me: ""OMG, my abs are so sore!"" 12: (sarcastically) ""What abs?"" Me: ""The abs hiding under this protective layer of you're grounded."""

"I was walking in a cemetery this morning and I spotted a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said, ""Morning.""He replied, ""No, just having a shit."""

"[Commercial for axes] [A lumberjack swinging a dead goat against a tree in the woods] *Turns to camera* ""There has to be a better way?"""

"When I get startled, I scream in a really deep voice instead of my normal one. Cause if I'm going to be freaked out, you should be too."

"""Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!"" Exactly ""What?"" It's inflation ""I hate you"""

"Why are gold fish orange ? The water makes them rusty !"

"What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window? Ayyee essay, where are you going?"

"diet tip: eat all your meals in front of a industrial fan"

"With all this uranium on Reddit, we should remember not to swallow any. You'll get atomic ache"