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Joke of the Day
"Why was the tank top more gangster than the tube top? The tube top was strapless."
Next Joke
"Dropping my kids off at Walmart with a dollar each to entertain themselves for a few hours."
"Are you the square root of -1? Because you can't be real."
"That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children's hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?"
"What do you call a cold and angry cow? Brrrgrrr... What do you call an angry and cold baby? GrrrBrrr..."
"I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to."
"What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby? I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember."
"Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want"
"I wear a cape when I'm driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I'm going somewhere to fight crime."
"I once new a guy that worked at a tool and die company... ...He was hit with a tool, and died"