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Joke of the Day

"I was feeling depressed. . I was feeling depressed so I went to the doctor to get a blood test. A week later he called me back with the results and said B positive, it's in your blood."

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"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares their dogs too much"
"I'm pretty certain I'll never be a serial killer, since I don't have a middle name."
"My favorite knock knock joke. Knock Knock! Who's there? To. To Who? To *Whom.*"
"I remember the face of every person who doesn't say ""thank you"" when I hold open the door for them."
"The best thing about sitting next to the white guy with dreads on the bus is no one thinks you're the one that farted"
"""IT'S 3AM! TIME FOR SPRINTS!"" - Cats"
"Q: What lottery did the broom win? A: The sweepstakes."
"In an alternate universe, humans with an extra cromossome are gods, each responsible for a physical property. It has been this way since the Down of time."
"Fitness friend: Do you know what you're putting in your body? *flashes back to ex *shudders"