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Joke of the Day

"What do you call alternative medicine that works? Medicine."

"I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday and Today. Edit: Also Tomorrow."

"Yess ocifer b-b-but in dog beers I've only had two."

"Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a nice person... It does, however, make you sleepy."

"Judge: Did you commit murder? Me: I'm a man. I'm afraid of commitment. Judge: hahaha! Me: hahaha! Judge: Life."

"When someone gets playfully thrown into a swimming pool on TV, all I can do is worry if they have their cell phone in their pocket."

"Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake."

"Chuck Norris tries this at home."

"Apple fitness products don't work. I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight."