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Joke of the Day

"Seems weird that evolution produced the female gender just to spend their time shopping at Target and returning what they bought at Target."

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"I'd say giving birth to a dead baby is better than having a miscarriage At least your baby's still born?"
"There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove."
"Out for the Count by Esau Stars"
"Dear bed, I'm SO sorry I left you. I don't know what I was thinking. Please take me back."
"Sometimes people say I look like Owen Wilson, and I always say the same thing to them Wooow, You're crazier than a road lizard."
"Texting for beginners: STFU = Shut the fuck up. LOL = Shut the fuck up. LMAO = Shut the fuck up. ROFL = Shut the fuck up."
"Why didn't I play in the Woman's world chess championships? Because I ran"
"What is about 6 in long, has a head, girls love to blow it, and is in a guys pants? a dollar bill you dirty minded people!! LMFAO"
"[my husband turning onto our street] ""know what I think?"" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. ""we've been down this road before"""
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