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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a word i made up? Plagiarism"

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know Y."

"[NSFW] MY wife walked in on me fucking my daughter... I wasn't sure if she was surprised by the fact that I was fucking my daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic gave me the fetus..."

"I swallowed a piece of Lego the other day I was shitting bricks."

"Eat, Pray, Love was such a boring movie, I watched it on a plane and people still walked out."

"With Easter coming up it has me wondering. Is the Easter bunny a shell for big egg?"

"My neighbor is constantly whining about her small breasts. I think she's being a little too melondramatic"

"I went out clubbing in the village last night. People looked concerned when i came back covered in blood. I was more concerned about my club."

"I took someone else's coffee at Starbucks because I liked her name better."

"[Entire house is full of trees] Girlfriend: What did you do?! Me: You told me to spruce things up. GF: Everything's stuck to everything!!!"