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Joke of the Day

"I'm with you, Hungry Hungry Hippos. I don't find small plastic balls very filling, either. I can't believe this what you guys eat in Africa!"

"I stayed at a hotel in Silicon Valley last night... The amenities were great. They even gave me a complementary metal-oxide-semiconductor."

"Around me, girls tend to lie when they're drunk... Especially on their back"

"why did the Marty Mcfly cross the road... Because nobody calls him chicken!"

"[doctor hands wife urn] Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband didn't make it. ""Nooo!"" she cries. Oh, he's fine. But he didn't make this lovely urn."

"Sorry I can't make it to lunch today. I forgot to shorten ""people"" to ppl in a text this morning and now I'm totally behind schedule."

"What did the manager say to the comedian who was messing around? Hey, no more funny business!"

"There was a failed art theft today... the robber reportedly was foiled because he didn't have enough Monet for Degas to make the Van Gogh."

"Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?"

"Just found a yogurt recipe online and the first ingredient was yogurt. That's not a recipe"