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Joke of the Day

"My Tylenol bottle says ""DO NOT TAKE IF SEAL NOT PRESENT."" Does anyone know how to contact him?"

"Where does Stevie Wonder park his car? In blind spots."

"Ellen Pao walked into a bar The bar bent. Bartender served her 3 sets of jumbo meals. Bartender had to repair the door."

"If you own a karate dojo and you don't make your employees answer the phone ""Hiiiiiiiiya"" You're doing it wrong"

"Theoretically, you can't really complain if there's a pubic hair on your everything bagel."

"How can Penn State fix their problem Rebrand themselves as the Catholic church."

"Were you on Baywatch? Cause I've been watching you... bae.. More of a creepy line."

"I usually make it to the ATM just behind the guy who's using it to refinance his home loan."

"This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down a Christmas tree unless you intend on eating it."

"The answer to 4 Leg, 2 Leg, 3 Leg riddle is a man... because a woman is on her knees all day."