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Joke of the Day

"""He be dead."" Who? Your English teacher?"

"TIFU By Mixing up my Client's Subway Order! Whoops, wrong *sub*!"

"""Cu Later!"" - a guy who wants some Copper, but not right now."

"No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive I won't have a clue how to get back here"

"Why did the condom hit the wall? Because it was pissed off"

"There's a question in the exam that said, ""What is the past tense of 'think'?"" So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'."

"What does the KKK use to bake cookies? White flour!"

"She sells sea shells by the sea shore because she graduated from an online university."

"My daughter got her dress caught in the escalator and I had to keep walking so people wouldn't think she was with me."

"After many years I've realized I'm allergic to beer. It causes me to break out in places. Places I have no idea how to get home from."