74140

Joke of the Day

"911! I just murdered a bunch of people 911: omg on purpose? Hang on lemme ask, did I murder anyone by mistake?.. No one is answering, So.."

"Jokes That don't work written down There were 30 cows in a field, twenty ate sheep, how many didn't?"

"Why can trains go for longer than cars? Because cars get tyred but trains do not, with the exception of Rubber-tyred metro systems."

"Why is it worse this time around? Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof."

"I fucked a vacuum cleaner once... It sucked"

"There was once a cowboy who walked into town wearing nothing but leaves. He was arrested for rustling."

"I've been thinking of getting into the warehousing business... I've heard it's blowing up in China"

"What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself."

"What do Trump voters use as bookmarks? Lit matches."

"*approaches drive-thru window on a camel* ""Sir, here's your 17 big macs and a large milkshake."" May I please have a straw? *camel collapses*"