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Joke of the Day

"How do you get an Asian to crash their car? Make the windshield full screen"

"A group of lingerie models were protesting They were met with stiff resistance"

"We all have our weaknesses. Yours are just more obvious."

"Lifeguard: SHARK! GET OUT OF THE WATER Me: [Remembers 150 people are killed by falling coconuts every year & only 5 from shark attacks] ..No"

"Been in an accident? Know someone who's been in an accident? If not, call us & we'll come push you down the stairs or something."

"Hey girl, are you a candy? Because i have a crush on you"

"*interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it's a small place, but you won't even know I'm here."

"What does 90-year-old pussy taste like? Depends."

"The EU has said that more needs to be done to help the Syrian refugees, especially the children. May I recommend swimming lessons?"

"water Water Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. l"