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Joke of the Day
"I named my dog Rembrandt That way I can say ""have you seen my Rembrandt?"""
Next Joke
"Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an ""I"" Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an ""I"". Always put 'am' after an ""I"". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
"A tiger goes to the gym... ... wearing women's underwear underneath his workout clothes. When he does squats does that make him a crouching tiger with hidden drag on?"
"My girlfriend... .. is like Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar."
"I hear that you're supposed to learn from your mistakes Probably why I'm an only child."
"What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist? The vest actually does something when it's triggered."
"People ask me what I'm really into these days. I tell them ""debt."""
"A man asked his wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day: Wife: ""A divorce."" Husband: ""I really wasn't planning on spending that much."""
"I got a sweater for christmas... I really wanted a moaner but I got a sweater."
"What do you call an unused piano? A keybored"