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Joke of the Day

"Went to the hospital to wish a pregnant lady giving birth a Happy Labor Day and she ripped my throat out :("

"Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face? Because I told him a good joke."

"Did you hear they discovered a carnivorous tree in the Amazon? Don't worry its bark is worse than its bite."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh Ten tickles"

"Did you hear about the great Alphabet war of 1938? The last letter of the alphabet declared war on all the not-zs."

"I used to be a huge fan of Jesus Christ... but then he got double crossed."

"Why was everyone laughing at the sculptor? He was making a funny face"

"What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin? ""LINE IT!"""

"An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied..."

"I texted someone ""hell yeah,"" but autocorrect changed it to ""hell year"" because even our phones know."