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Joke of the Day

"What television show best describes a mothers virginity? Lost"

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"If your'e anxious and you know it..... ...clasp your hands."
"I lost my job performing circumcisions I just couldn't cut it."
"My girlfriend and I have rough sex. It's not violent, it's just poorly defined."
"How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York? About 6 hours."
"Billy Mays is in heaven now... Billy Mays is up in Heaven partying like it's $19.99."
"My 8 year old brother's best joke. What animal will you always see at a resturant? A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic."
"Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly? I didn't... I started the wife up like a f*cking chainsaw."
"How do you know if a Russian vampire is gay? If Vladimir Putin it in the butt."
"What do hookers do on their night off: type?"