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Joke of the Day

"People who lick their fingers then page through the papers on the printer Just throw it out. I'll print it again."

"What do you call a trip to Spain gone horribly wrong? A Spain in the ass."

"What do you call a color that doesn't exist? A pigment of your imagination."

"Guns don't kill people People that have 5 kids, 1 cat, 2 ex-mother-in-laws & work 50 hours a week without wine in their life, kill people"

"[spelling bee finals] JUDGE: your word is ""asterisk"" KID: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: *adjusts mic* yes"

"Why are cigars unhealthier than cigarettes? Because they're fatter."

"In 1940 Goebbels made a speech... Proclaiming that the Swastika was an example of the Golden Ratio. Turns out it was a fibbin' Nazi..."

"Ladies, love yourself first or nobody will @MaleHonesty86"

"Why don't dogs make good dancers ? Because they have two left feet !"

"Rick. Rick is a total lover of Pixar movies. He will lend you any title except for one. He is never gonna give you Up."