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Joke of the Day

"I hired Lena Dunham and paid her candy To babysit my 1 y/o niece and clean her vagina. She was thorough."

"There's 3 kinds of people in this world people who can count, and people who can't count"

"""How many SEO experts do you need to change a lightbulb lightbulbs buy light bulbs neon lights sex porn"""

"Why didn't the girl go into the haunted house? She didn't have the balls."

"What did one lawyer say to another lawyer? We are both lawyers."

"Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie."

"Just had sex in an Apple Orchard. I came in cider."

"If you don't know, please ask. If you don't agree, argue. If you don't like it, please say it. But don't sit there quiet and judge me."

"Q: How did a blind man drive his car? A: One hand on the wheel; the other on the road."

"Me: Happy Easter! Taylor Swift: I hate Easter! It's all a lie! Me: The Jesus thing? Taylor Swift: Ya... Men don't come back after 3 Days!"