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Joke of the Day

"This happened over the weekend I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again."

"Hamburger A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says ""Sorry we don't serve food here."""

"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!"

"Why couldn't the joke walk? It was lame. (I think this is an original by me)"

"Why was Snape in the middle of the road? So you would never know what side he was on."

"You're so fat, when you sat on an iPod . . . It turned into an ipad. If you don't like my joke, you should really lighten up."

"Why do people get addicted to meth? Because they didn't think of the aftermeth."

"Finding exactly what right women don't have in America is like transmuting iron to gold. You can't."

"What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun? Urine luck"

"Why don't Photons go to church on Sunday? Photons never have mass when at rest!"