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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) Alien vs. Predator"
Next Joke
"What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. :D"
"I start every conversation with my employees by saying, ""I shouldn't be telling you this"" just so I know they will listen."
"Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, ""Your husband will die a horrible violent death."" Hilary asks, ""Will I be acquitted?"""
"My grandfather died in Auschwitz... He died after falling from the guard tower"
"Drill Sgt didn't like me giving unlicensed chiropractic adjustments to the platoon when he told me... Get your hands off my privates!"
"""Here, let me fuck it up for you."" - Every kid ever"
"What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby."
"*doesn't look up from phone* I do"
"Old Navy is like my weird friend from third grade. Like, I know we used to be really close, but if you asked me if I knew him I'd say no."