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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when your BBQ is ready in Canada in April? The snow on top of it has melted."

"My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop..."

"A Valentine's Day Poem for your Sweetheart Roses are red, Violets are blue, For Valentine's Day, I would like to sodomize you."

"The only thing that Trump and I can agree on... ...is that I would also date Ivanka if she wasn't his daughter."

"When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years."

"I know the **BEST** way to get someone interested in something. Actually, never mind, maybe I shouldn't tell you."

"Hey old couples. Email addresses are free. You can each have your own. Wait... Just gave that more thought. Forget it. Keep sharing."

"I named my first dog ""What"". Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked ""What is the name of your first pet?"" and I kept answering ""Yes."""

"Everyone on reddit seems to want a secular Turkey... My fat ass just wants a succulent one."

"Facebook told me my new password was too long... All I typed in was ""My Dick""."