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Joke of the Day

"What does a Bird and a fridge have in common? They Can Both fly except the fridge."

"I don't date Left handed chicks cause you know, Lefty loosey Righty tighty."

"Why did people hate going on road trips with Kurt Cobain? Because he always called shotgun"

"Finally, I got the model wife I always wanted Unfortunately she's a plus size model"

"Mom mom are farts heavy? ""no, son""... ""oh I guess I shit myself then"""

"Customer: Waiter this food is repeating on me. Waiter: Good we love repeat business."

"If you want to be happy... For an hour, buy some ice cream. For a day, see a movie. For a week, go on vacation. For a month, get a new pet. For a year, get married."

"Did you hear about the newlyweds who mixed up the lube and window putty? All their windows fell out"

"What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill? ""I'm cured!"""

"I'm picking up some really good vibes from this guy... ...because he's not coming with me tonight. :("