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Joke of the Day

"A Jehovah Witness Knock-Knock joke: KNOCK KNOCK.."

"I bought a lamp stand from Ikea... the assistant asked me was I planning on putting it up myself. ""You dirty bastard"" I said, ""It's going in the living room"""

"What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? you: R? One might think it's the R, but really, it's the C."

"I long for the good old days, when all the men wore suits and all the women wore dresses and they put cocaine in soda"

"My grandpa is just like a plant. If you don't feed him, he'll die. Plus, he's super quiet when he's in the room watching you have sex."

"Cats always have an expression like they ordered 2 of everything on Amazon with your credit card while you were at work."

"If Socrates had been a woman, he would've said: All I know is that I have all these clothes, but I have nothing to wear."

"As soon as I plugged in my laptop, all my files became unreadable. I guess power corrupts."

"I think my dog is gay because he wags his tail every time I suck his dick."

"I'll see your Limerick. . I was driving along in my Bentley, tossing off ever so gently I hit a bump in the road and I shot my load not on purpose, but quite accidently!"