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Joke of the Day

"I thought I defeated this dragon, but he's been following me around... I beat him off with a sword"

"Q: What do flies wear on their feet? A: Shoos."

"Going Straight to Hell Q: How to Ethiopians celebrate their child's first birthday? A: They place flowers on the grave."

"Did you know semen leaves the penis at 50 miles per hour? That means it's illegal to ejaculate in a school zone, but I don't think I got arrested because of the speed."

"Jesus sits down at the Last Supper with his disciples. He rises and addresses them: ""I'm the son of God."" ""No way!"" they say. ""Yahweh."""

"A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic guy playing Bingo? When he filled in a row, he yelled, ""BOING!"""

"We'd love to offer you the job [My phone buzzes] Congrats on your 250 tweet! ME [leaving]: Lol no thanks I won't be needing to work anymore"

"How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month? What an Idiot."

"I'm not too concerned about this whole terminal illness deal... My doctor said it should be the last thing I worry about."