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Joke of the Day

"I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold."

"Suitable for British consumption I just heard the UK strawberry picking championships has been won by a woman with no legs. Jammy cunt"

"Which trees miss you the most? Pine trees"

"Hope nobody has a video of me trying to get the fourth corner of a fitted sheet over the mattress."

"I use a wheelchair. Whenever I'm at a job interview and they ask me what my greatest weakness is, I always want to say, ""Stairs""."

"How many millennials does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to do it, the other to give him his ribbon."

"why did god make girls so stupid? so that they would love boys"

"There was this one time I discovered a time machine... I still remember it like it was tomorrow."

"What do you call a basement full of progressives? A whine cellar."

"I'm not comfortable with the fact that there's a skeleton inside me."