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Joke of the Day

"Why does a chicken coupe only have two doors? If it had four it'd be a chicken sedan!"

"I'm not saying I'm an idiot... But if some village comes looking...tell them you never saw me."

"How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!"

"Girlfriends are like phone apps They come with in-app purchases, and need the reassurance of updates to function well."

"I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1."

"Why do the French like eating snails? Because they can't stand fast food!"

"*returns lost dog* Lady: That's not him. He was white Me: *holding a brown dog* He asked to swing by the salon. Add the color to my reward"

"little son knows How to scare parents? Dad: ""Can I see your report card, son?"" Son: ""I don't have it."" Dad: ""Why?"" Son: ""I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."""

"What do you call Batman when he skips Church? Christian Bale."

"Cats are like rapists My cat is a lot like a rapist. He has no concept of the words ""Stop"" and ""No!"""