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Joke of the Day
"I'm not saying I'm an idiot... But if some village comes looking...tell them you never saw me."
Next Joke
"""We need to kill the terrorist NOW"" But how.. ""The human body is 70% water"" Jesus, you know what to do *terrorist dies of alcohol poisoning*"
"Duct tape can't fix stupidity, but it can muffle it."
"*Takes kids for sushi before seeing ""Finding Dory""*"
"But let's get real here guys I mean who exactly are we kidding ? A husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer controls the weather."
"My stepdad hates it when I call him Bernie... He's really sensitive a about his scars..."
"What happened when the carrot died? There was a huge turnip at the funeral."
"How come Barbie never got pregnant? Because Ken, came.... In another box!"
"We're sorry, the number you have dialed... 911 has been changed to a non-published number. Please make a note of it."
"If an Astronaut Vomits in L.E.O. If an Astronaut vomits in L.E.O., what do you call the portion of the vomit closest to the Earth? The Ralph Nadir"