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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally"

"I dated a magician once; she put her hand on my leg and I turned into a motel....."

"What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth? A Concussion."

"Did you know that if you were to print out every single page on the internet, and stack them all, one on top of the other... ... environmentalists would go fucking nuts."

"Why was the redneck on his Iphone at his sister's funeral...? He was changing his relationship status to single. Dahurpy durp Dahurpy Durp Da dUrpy durp."

"I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was... Apparently, Caitlyn Jenner was an inappropriate answer."

"Me: My computer broke IT guy: What have you tried so far? Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing"

"I went to a store that carried only three items It was an inconvenience store"

"Are you fond of alternative sources for cooling technologies? I'm a huge fan."

"What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space. Successful"