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Joke of the Day
"What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light"
Next Joke
"Meet my cat, Hemingway. And my two dogs, Faulkner and Whitman. I know what books are. Ah yes, my macaw approaches. His name is Literature"
"I am a man with Alzheimer's, AMA! EDIT: Why is everyone asking me questions?"
"So my friend said to ex girlfriend ""Please dont throw me under the bus"" I replied "" Ya thats right throw her under the subway"""
"If a woman tells you size doesn't matter, she's a liar and you have a small pen!s."
"What's the difference between dead animals on the road and dead lawyers on the road? Dead animals have skid marks AROUND them"
"I like my girls like Shrek... Big boned and with an ass that talks back"
"Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through."
"What do you call an italian hooker? A pasta-tute"
"I phoned my work this morning and said, ""Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough."" He said, ""You have a wee cough?"" I said, ""Really? Cheers boss, see you next week!"""