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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hipster and a fire hose? It takes more than one hipster to push the black people out of a neighborhood."

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"That awkward movement when you... read movement as moment."
"I'm into cryogenics. All the cool kids are doing it."
"Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me. Then he turned around and asked me a question."
"Just got back from Sam's Club - got a great new electric piano, 19 pack of BBQ lighters, and a impulse kayak - fuck forgot milk"
"How do they play basketball in Mexico? Juan on Juan"
"My New Year's resolution is to stop eating so much candy, so I can focus more on cookies."
"What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position? Ability to work under pressure."
"Large scale pot-growing bust on my neighbors property I was charged with planting evidence..."
"What kind of dance do buns do? Abundance."