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Joke of the Day

"I told my therapist that no one understands me... She said, ""What do you mean by that?"""

"Dirtiest joke ever told A pig rolled in the mud"

"Hey, you know how geese migrate in a V shape? Sometimes one side of the V is longer than the other - do you know why? -""No, why's that? "" -More geese."

"A certain little boy had been spanked by his father one morning. When his dad came in from the office that evening the boy called out sulkily ' Mum ! your husband's just come home.'"

"If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans sorry giraffe but I gotta do what's best for me"

"How is Chinese airport security like a Russian woman? They'll fuck anybody with an American passport. I say this from experience."

"Why did the trout go to med school? Mounting pressure from his friends and family"

"Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way"

"me: Dave's coming over wife: Nice Dave or Dave who picked a fight with a kid named Cancer? *Dave walks in wearing an ""I Beat Cancer"" shirt*"

"YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake"