71604

Joke of the Day

"There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris."

"Why are turtles so grumpy? Because they can't masturbate."

"Why does Reddit love Ronda Rousey so much? she hits women"

"Mrs. Claus can't have kids Do you know why Mrs. Claus can't have kids? Because Santa only comes once a year, and that's down the chimney."

"Hmmph! I've been trapped at my desk at work plenty of times and no one ever comes to rescue me."

"My wife told me to stop listening to Wonderwall with the volume all the way up And I said MAYYYBEEEE"

"What's 12 inches long and snaps a cunt? A selfie stick"

"I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh."

"What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night? A landmine."

"I swear if I hear Uptown Funk one more time... I will smash my radio. Don't believe me? Just watch"