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Joke of the Day

"Goodnight moon, goodnight stars. Goodnight weird guy who walks past my house on crutches every night. Goodnight house on crutches."

"What did the boy pee say to the girl pee? Urine angel."

"If you do not say it, they can't repeat it."

"Why can't you see elephants hiding in trees? ...because they are hiding"

"I've decided to become a raw carnivore... I guess you can say I'm going cold turkey"

"Why did the pilot hit the Alps? To get to the other side."

"I wouldn't recommend eating German sausage... It's the wurst!"

"I got mugged last night! My assailants made off with everything from my shoes to my mood ring... I still don't know how I feel about that."

"If your name got called on The Price is Right, it'd be fun to scream, jump up and down, and then run full speed out of the studio"

"A 90 year old man used to tell me this same joke every time I saw him. I went to the Dr. today. He said he needed blood, semen, and fecal samples....So I gave him my underwear and walked out."