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Joke of the Day

"LEONARDO DA VINCI: *on street corner* eeey girl! gimme a smile, girl! nah, not that big. make it cryptic, girl, like 'what is she thinking'"

"When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle."

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because it had nobody to go with."

"And then there was the UCLA professor who opened up his vest pulled out his tie and wet his pants."

"Not now kids. Mom is racing her rubber duckies in the bathtub and this time I really think Javier is going to win."

"A man walks into a bar.. he got a beer, waited the responsible 1 hour, and drove home."

"In every successful relationship the MAN always has the last word - ""Yes Dear."""

"There I was, waiting to pay for my landscaping materials, when suddenly... ...I was charged for aggregated basalt."

"Who is the richest person in the Bible? The Pharao's daughter. She went to the bank of the Nile to pick up a little prophet."

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaayyyy"